I dont know why i have to carry this burden through life, it not fair and i definately do not deserve it (as im such a nice guy who always donates money to children in need and various other charity based organisations that help the starving children of africa, dont ask me why, its just my style). Right now it's 2am and i have absolutely no way of getting to sleep. This is the case every night and has been since i can remember.
Here's my problem:
Every night i find it impossible to get to sleep untill around 3am! Like, no matter how hard i try i cant do it. I have one hundred percent envy and hate for those people who can just go to bed at ten or eleven at night and just fall asleep. When i ask people how they do it, they just say things like "i dunno really, i just kinda drift off". But i dont know what they're talking about, "DRIFT OFF", what the hell is that, i dont know what "drift off" is, because i've never experienced the wonderous feeling that is "drift off". It's the same with "oh i slept like a baby" or "oh i slept like a log". I have no idea what all these sleep based thrases feel like which makes me feel like an outsider. Because i can never get too sleep, i always find myself in these aggrivating scenarioes, of which this is the most common and frustrating: If it gets to around 2am and im still no closer to getting to sleep as i was seven hours ago walking around sutton, I put my earphones in and start listening to music! Now this is NEVER a good idea yet for some reason (being that im a moron) i always do this hoping that this time will be the one that works. So yeah i plug my earphones in, put my ipod on shuffel and skip through until i find a relaxing song that will, in theory, send me to sleep. Now usually half way through the song i will slip into a state of total nothingness, where my mind will be totally blank and ill forget im trying to sleep and everything that surrounds me, where i'll have my eyes shut and just totally lost in the song thats playing, where my ears are just tuned in to absolutely every individual noise in the song. This is a really good state to be in and does genuinly help the process of falling asleep. However, it doesnt stay this way for long, because of the state im in at this point, i dont realise that the song is seconds away from ending and thats when shit just goes bad. A couple of nights ago everything above was happening, i was in that pathetic state of mindblank when, of all the possible choices my ipod could of choosen, the 'Boyz Noize Terror Remix' (Terror being my initial reaction to this travesty) of Late Of The Peir's 'Focker' started playing! Needless to say, it scared the living shit out of me and i was now more awake than ever, so cheers boyz noize.
People have these lists they make called things like 'Top 10 Things To Do Before I Die'. These lists are usually created by depressed fifty year old men going through a mid-life crisis due to being left by their lifelong wife who was always told she could do better but only just realised it and, therefore, had an affair with some dude twenty years younger. But oh no, im not quite ready to go down that route just yet! Alas, number one on my 'Top Ten Things To Do Before I Die' shall be to 'Drift Off' and then 'sleep like a baby' all in one night, because i dont believe i will have lived life to the max until i've had those experiences behind me. To most, that will just sound like a retarded number one to choose, i mean where's the bunjy jumping off the eiffel tower or the swimming with dolphins, but if not being able to go to sleep at a decent elegant time makes me retarded, then yes, i am retarded. GOOD TIMES RUDEGIRL!
Late Of The Pier (Boyz Noize Terror Remix)
http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?d45wk2klmy2
Sleep Deprivation - Simian Mobile Disco
http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?qzmttbvzm21
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